My near-death experience today

I did the ketamine study today and it was BAD.  It was 100x, no, 10000x worse than the study that I had to stick a tube up my nose into my chest.  I thought I was gonna die.  No joke.  It taught me never to take another study that injects or makes you take clinical drugs.  They definitely didn't pay me enough, by far.

It was freaky.  I was majorly hallucinating (trippin').  I felt like I was transported into another world, another reality or rather, 'an unreal dream world' (like the past/present/future/beyond all jumbled together), and I saw weird 4D images like things crawling (like in the movie Ringu).  I heard voices in my head, and I had thoughts racing through my mind, and I felt like I was 'outside my body' watching 'another me' speaking and responding to the experimenters.  Like when I was doing the first 5 minutes of the computer tasks (the part that I completed), I didn't feel like I was playing a video game, I felt like I was IN the video game.  If it was only hallucinations, I could have tolerated the experiment and might have been able to finish it.

...But then, the nausea hit me and I threw up (or would have, except I had no food in my stomach, so it was just bile).  I got crazy heart palpitations that made me feel like I was having a heart attack, and my whole body was convulsing/shaking/tingling, as if in shock.  I (or rather, 'the other me') called off the ketamin infusion after 30 minutes b/c I (my body, physically) couldn't take it anymore, even though the whole infusion should last 80 minutes (and the level of ketamine is the same throughout). 

The first 15 minutes after the infusion stopped, I still felt the full effects.  The first 30 minutes, I still felt really nauseous and took a 30 minute nap.  After 1 hour, I was able to walk about and go wash the goo in my hair (from the EEG).  After 1.5 hours, I was able to drink water and eat lunch without any problems.  After 2 hours, I was discharged from the hospital.  But even up to 8 hours later, I still felt certain effects, like having 'extra-real' clarity and seeing 'bright' things.

The experimenters definitely understated the effects of ketamine.  It was much much much more intense than I thought.  Ketamine is given to kids as an anaesthetic, but not to adults (and with good reason!!).  Also since it's an anaesthetic, you're supposed to be sleeping through it....but obviously I wasn't and I had to do computer tasks throughout the infusion.  So to sum it up, unless you wanna die, don't take ketamine.

BLOOD concert

BLOOD concert, 8/10/06
Knitting Factory, NYC

They were just amazing. That Japanese band sure knows how to pull off a good performance. Which was a direct contrast to the two opening acts before them (which shall go unmentioned, because they sucked).

Anyways, it was around 10:30 PM when BLOOD finally came on stage. This means we had to wait 3 hours for them to appear! By this point, I had gotten into the third row, near the right center, after jostling around. After like 20 minutes, I ended up in the second row, dead center, where I stayed put for the rest of the concert. I was really lucky to grab that spot, since the only things between me and the stage/band members were the two press photographers in the front row. I didnÃÕ have to push much to get there. All I had to do was wait, and whenever people around me got pushed back by the bouncers, I stayed still in my spot.

It was a really, really rough crowd that night. The bouncers kept threatening that theyÃÅ cancel the concert if the fans couldnÃÕ control themselves. I fell onto the stage a couple of times (and once I was unable to get up for like a whole minute, until the bouncer picked me up), after being pushed by the waves from behind. I also got shoved left and right. It was funny and paradoxical, in that the more you push, the more you get pushed. NewtonÃÔ Law, I suppose. I also felt claustrophobic and started to hyperventilate at one point, partly from the tight, packed crowd and partly from still being jet-lagged/having woken up at 6 PM that night and not a bite to eat or a sip to drink.

I had seen photos of all three members online, and wasnÃÕ quite taken by their appearances. However, theyÃÓe the type of people who has to be seen in the flesh, in kinetic motion, in order to see their beauty.

Fu-ki was wearing a black velvet overcoat, a sleeveless white lace shirt underneath, black pants, a choker, and ruffly armbands. His hair was parted down the middle, one side pulled back and the other side left hanging down, framing his face. He has a really long face, so I thought the hairstyle was to help soften that frame. Wearing all that velvet and lace, he was the epitome of the ÅÔexy aristocratic vampire¡¦(think: Jean-Claude from the Anita Blake book series).

Kiwamu was wearing a long black Nazi-like coat/dress. His blue contacts were quite scary, set again the painted white background of his face. His hair was long and shaggy, partly due to the extensions/wig?

Kaede was wearing a long black & white gothic lolita dress. His hair was long and curly and braided. He had white makeup on his face, but by the end of the concert, it was caking off due to sweat.

Setlist??

They played a bunch of songs, none of which I remember, except for The Funeral For Humanity, which was their opening song, and which is always on my playlist. Part of the problem was that the pre-recorded background music was drowning out everything else, so their songs pretty much all blended into one another, indistinct and unimpressionable. The only exception was this one sad, hauntingly beautiful song that they played in the middle, which I need to acquire. Most likely the song is on the VENGEANCE for BLOOD 2 CD, which is the only one I donÃÕ have yet.

[Edit: The mysterious song was "Forever Lost", and I have all their CDs now. Thanks to Kiwamu's blog, I also obtained the setlist.]

Aug 10th setlist @ The Knitting Factory
1. THE FUNERAL FOR HUMANITY
2. morphine
3. BLIND
4. Unforgiven
5. I remember you
6. Forever lost
7. Awakening
8. Se lever
9. VOICES
10. Wings of The Rebellion
11. NEVERMORE
12. VENGEANCE for BLOOD
13. byakuya
14. oboro
15. Spleen
16. Le Revenant
17. Les Litanies de Satan
18. Under The Sensual Moon...
19. sweatest disease
20. D.T.M.H.

Maybe it was because the venue was so tiny (200 people max, and the show was sold out), or because American fans are so crazy, but they had a lot of interaction with the fans. Which was great, since this kind of thing would never happen to me in Tokyo.

Fu-ki

Fu-kiÃÔ voice is so hot when you hear it live ¡¦because you see him, and you hear him, and you smell him, and you touch him, and your senses become overwhelmed. He MCed in English, which was quite impressive (and disappointing, since I wanted to hear him speak in Japanese). Most Japanese singers would probably have given up on the explanations, such as when he introduced their new song, a point during which he struggled in broken English. I loved hearing him say ÅÃangu your heado, bangu your heado¡¦to the audience, who just didnÃÕ get what to do.

After holding back from the excitement of the crowd and trying to take pictures from my camera phone (I lasted all of about 15 minutes, when I realized that no matter what angle or however much I zoomed in, the pictures turned out crappy), I gave myself up to the urge to paw the band members. I touched Fu-kiÃÔ hand, hair, mic, and velvet coat on separate occasions. Upon each occasion, I grew bolder, exploring more territory. (Okay this sounds really perverted.) However, I did refrain from touching his face and his chest. There were these girls next to me who kept touching (literally, swiping off sweat) or burying themselves in Fu-kiÃÔ chest, which I thought was really disgusting. I know that I, for one, wouldnÃÕ want to be touched like that. IÃÎ sure Fu-ki is no different. Still, the guy took it all in good stride, braving the audience and oftentimes stepping into the crowd, letting and even encouraging the fans to grope him.

At one point, Fu-ki leaned over, grabbed Kiwamu, and bit him on the neck, both of them posing in an exaggerated fashion, the way a male dancer will hold a female dancer as he tilts her body down for a swoop. Then, after he was given the ÅÌiss of death¡¦ Kiwamu keeled over, dropping down lifelessly to the floor. There was a recurrence of the ÅÌiss of death¡¦a bit later, too.

Two thirds through the show, Fu-ki threw off his overcoat, leaving only the inner shirt and the armbands. By this point, the shirt was ruffled into a V-shape, so that you could see his naked chest, and then if you followed that trail of open skin and looked down, youÃÅ realize that he was a clever bastard, because youÃÅ be staring directly at his crotch.

He stage dived quite a lot, too, falling on top of me more than once, or he would embrace the crowd, folding like 10 girls into his embrace at once ¡¦I was swiped into his arm, hugged against his chest, and once I even felt my mouth grazing his arm (the coat was gone by now, so it was just skin to skin), so yes I had unintentionally kissed his arm. I could have bitten him if I wanted to (that idea actually crossed my mind at the time, but I didnÃÕ want to be offensive). He also serenaded some fans in the front directly (including me), pausing and giving them a lot of individual eye contact (his eyes are really sexy, and he wore green contacts too). Since I was standing so close to him so much of the time, I kept noticing his makeup ¡¦the trace of his black eyeshadow, the lack of pasty white face makeup that was so prominent on Kaede and Kiwamu. His face, his chest, and his hands are a really peachy color, but his arms are pretty pale. I wonder how often he goes into the sunlight.

Kaede

After having touched Fu-ki numerous times, I kinda got sick of him and his fan following, and diverted my attention elsewhere: to lovely Kaede, who was on the right side of the stage. I love Kaede, he was so shy with the audience! All heÃÅ do was play the bass, and occasionally look up at the audience. While Fu-ki was seducing the right half of the audience, I kept looking at Kaede, and he seemed to notice me. So basically we stared at each other for like 10 seconds, before I got uncomfortable and broke off the eye contact.

Towards the end, Kaede stage dived right on top of me. He hesitated as he walked up to the stage (as if he was scared of us, which I totally understand), and then he flopped into the audience. It was so cute!! I grabbed his midsection as he dove, partly supporting him and partly bringing him further into the audience. This was the only time he stage dived that night.

Kiwamu

I didnÃÕ really interact much with Kiwamu. He came close to the stage a few times, but I never felt the  inclination to touch him, because heÃÔ so scary looking. But I did touch his funky hair once, I think. He also switched sides and stage dived a lot, although not on top of me (guess he didnÃÕ want to dive onto the photographers and break their cameras?). But once he came right up to the stage, and he reached over me, so I ducked, thinking he wanted fans to touch his hand. Instead, I felt a hard yank on my hair. Kiwamu had pulled on my (recently cut and thinned out) hair! If he had yanked harder, he would have pulled out what little was left of my hair. I felt gasps from people beside me a few seconds later, so I knew I wasnÃÕ the only person he did this to. When I looked up, he had already gone back. Talk about shocking people. Go Kiwamu!

All 3 band members splashed their water over us, at various times during the concert. By then, we had gotten so hot, sweaty, sticky, and thirsty that it was much appreciated. Once, when Kiwamu splashed this huge liter bottle at us, I had my mouth opened, and even drank down some of that water.

The concert felt like it lasted forever, what with the heat/meatpacking and the fan interaction, but Fu-ki finally announced to us (a little past midnight) that it was over. He said that the band members would be ready to sign their tour goods in a bit, and he hadnÃÕ even finished this announcement, when people started running over to the tour goods table to line up. How rude. Anyways, the rest of us remaining cheered and said thank you, and I left not long after that. Much as I wanted to buy their CD and chat with them and get their autographs, I had a train to catch.

Conclusion

I went into the concert knowing little about them and their music, and I came out having had the best welcome back to the U.S. ever. I shall look them up if they come back to New York, or when I go to Tokyo again. Until then, their music will be on constant rotation on my playlist, the memories of that wonderful, hedonistic night stuck in my head like a hazy hangover.

Can you read this?

halfway through

I hate living in China. You'll always end up sick one way or another. Like today, I had a cup of coffee-flavored bubble tea from a vendor and got an upset stomach soon afterwards. Not to mention my sore throat which has been going on since I arrived in China last month. I kinda forgot what my normal voice sounds like already...

This weekend, I visited my ex-roommate Nancy N. in Nanjing (not to be confused with my current roommate Nancy L. at Bulldogs). The train ride there took 10 hours and the ride back took 18 hours!! I don't know how I managed to survive that long-ass ride, especially since I took the hard seat, which basically means I was sitting upright the whole time (I didn't take Nancy's sleeping pills either b/c I was too lazy). The train was fully packed, with no aisle space since a lot of people didn't have reserved seats and were just standing around or using their luggages as makeshift seats. The guy sitting across from me was so rude! After he had finished his boxed dinner, he just threw the leftovers straight out the window, effectively contributing to the pollution of China's countryside. Good job, man. No wonder the rural areas are so underdeveloped (read: crappy).

Anyways Nanjing is a much smaller and hotter (weather-wise) place than Beijing. A taxi ride only costs 9 rmb (US$1) no matter where you go. We went to Confucius Temple, which is a miniature version of Hou Hai in Beijing. The area is surrounded by a lake, which is more like a pond or a puddle of water. Then we went to 1912, the bar and club district. The clubs in Nanjing are marked by 3 characteristics:

1. no entrance fee (Before you start booking a ticket to Nanjing, read further down. There's a reason for this, being characteristics #2 and #3.)

2. a 3x3 meter patch of open space that is commonly referred to as a 'dance floor'

3. pricy alcoholic drinks by the bottle, none of which can be bought in individual glasses

So we pretty much flitted from club to club. The best of the bunch was A8 Music Club, which was patronized by a younger (and better looking) population and which featured pole dancing. There were 2 dancers: a very gay guy (who reminded me of Razor Ramon aka Hard Gay, a Japanese comedian -- go google his picture) who was actually quite good, and a girl wearing a bib who couldn't dance but who might have done better at a strip club. Amazingly, we also ran into Sabrina, another Yalie who was interning in a nearby province, and her coworkers. I foresee a China overrun by Yalies in the future...

I spent the rest of the weekend watching Asian movies and dramas on Nancy's computer. My favorite was The King and the Clown, a recent popular Korean movie about two peasant minstrels who get entangled up in court affairs. At the core lies a subtle homosexual love triangle among the two clowns, one masculine and one feminine, and the king. The effeminate minstrel is played by Lee Jun Ki, who is "prettier than most girls" with his slitted eyes and thin lips. He looks pretty good in real life:

Another highlight about Nanjing: there's soo many bubble tea vendors. I had 4 cups with 4 different flavors (regular chai, purple taro, honeydew melon, and strawberry) from 4 different vendors, and not once did I get sick (even though one of the bubble tea had red, evil eye-like tapioca).

My latest time-waster at work: www.taobao.com

It's a Chinese auction site, the Chinese equivalent of Ebay. Prices are so cheap here. I only wish I had a Chinese bank account because that's the predominant accepted payment method. Instead, I've been emailing various sellers and asking if they would accept cash on delivery. If my ploy works, I shall have a new (and totally fake) Death Note (my favorite Japanese manga) pendant before I leave the country:

http://auction1.taobao.com/auction/0/item_detail-0db1-7720e2fa59211fd6fbe8f67732ede5ce.jhtml?p=3-8

Food Coma

I just came back from lunch at the greasiest place in Beijing and thereby the world. We ordered 4 dishes for 5 people: golden oyster mushrooms, meat dish, eggplant dish, and fish & oil dish (Ë®ÖóÓã/shui zhu yu). I don't know why they call it shui zhu yu (shui = water); they should have called it ÓÍÖóÓã/you zhu yu (you = oil), since it was cooked in basically a pot of oil. Now let me tell you something, if you're not familiar with Chinese dishes: this shui zhu yu had enough oil to rev up a car and enough chili peppers to anesthetize your tongue for some surgery. And because I hit my xanga upload limit of 10 MB this month, I shall post the picture here directly. The picture was actually googled, but it looks exactly like the dish I had for lunch (down to the same pot!)

It's so unhealthy, and I think I gained 5 pounds already. Like I can actually feel my chest constricting sometimes, like what happened with that guy from Supersize Me (the McDonald's documentary) on the 21st day or something, except I'm only on the 14th day. In fact, eating out in China is probably worse for your health than eating out at McDonald's.

Okay, recap of what I have been doing the past few nights:

On Tuesday, a bunch of us Bulldogs went to John Bull Pub, located at Jianguomen, the foreigners district in Beijing (think: Roppongi in Tokyo), where the American Embassy and other high class foreign joints are located. Tuesdays are trivia night at JBP, and the winning team wins two six-packs. Because there were 20 of us and the max was 10 people per team, we split into two teams. My team (Mitchelll) beat the other Bulldog team (Gunther and the Sunshine Girls) by two points, and tied for third place overall. Except we then had a tie-breaker and lost it, so we ended up getting knocked down to fourth place. It was still lots of fun, a great team-bonding experience.

Wednesday night was the highlight of my time here in Beijing. I went with some other people to Vics, a mostly foreigners' bar in Sanlitun, one of the entertainment districts in Beijing. Wednesdays are Ladies Night at Vics, which means for 30 yuan cover charge  (approximately US$3.50), ladies can get all the free cocktail drinks they want from 9:30 to midnight. I got 8 drinks in two hours...you can imagine what happened afterwards...a floor full of drunken girls. We danced until 2:30 AM, and might have stayed even later but for the fact that we had work the next day. Actually there was a stage for dancing at the club, and I fell off of it twice, and banged up my right shin. At the time it didn't hurt much (probably because I was too gone to feel any pain), but the next day it swelled up and hurt like a bitch and a half. So to make a long story short, I texted my coworker and told her I had been in a bike accident and thus had to skip work. I spent the entire day on Thursday sleeping off my hangover. And I watched X-Men III, borrowing my rooomate Nancy's computer and said roomie's bootleg DVD (in Spanish audio with some quirky English subtitles). I will have to check out www.themoviespoiler.com to read up on the movie because I didn't understand half of what was going on... Oh I love bootlegs. You get what you pay for.

[edit] themoviespoiler.com is apparently blocked in China.

Finally, some random pictures from last weekend:

karaoke in Xidan (shopping district). They had a complimentary midnight buffet (yum! like I really need the extra weight)

flag rising at Tian'anmen at 4 AM after a night of hardcore karaoke

zonking out on the subway in the morning on the way home